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Something Better Than This

from The Greatest Arsonist by Straight Line Arrival

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Something Better than This is Arsonist acknowledging that they are going through the same cycles of coping as everyone else them and desperately wanting out. Arsonist wants nothing more than to escape the traumas that keep him tied into the cycle. But they have no idea how to do so, but know wanting out is the first step. Arsonist has dreams and goals and ambitions but knows they will never accomplish anything if they can't move past their trauma's, addictions, and their past. Arsonist desperately wants to move past everything and do great things with their life, Despite not knowing if it will ever actually happen.

As a child I was tossed under custody of the state. North Dakota's foster care system is exceptionally poor so I was sent to live in a youth Drug and Alcohol rehab facility of sorts for youth for a year, because it was the only place with an open bed. It was essentially a jail in the middle of nowhere. A few miles away from where the NODAPL protests would occur a handful of years later. I did not have to go through any of the drug related problems, as of that time in my life (16 years old) I had no legal troubles, and hadn't done anything other than smoke pot or drink.
It was here where I was first exposed to drug culture.
On my second day out of the place I did opiates for the first time.
I have struggled with addiction for many years. And have been clean from the needle and my drug of choice since June 13th of 2014. However I have found myself still at the mercy of nicotine, alcohol, marijuana, and various fun party drugs since then.
I will always have to monitor and check myself for the rest of my life to know when I am just having fun, and when I am having a problem.

lyrics

la da da's

There's gotta be more to life
than taking a pill and taking another pill
and hoping that one of these pills work one of these days
and drugs have always been
just a replacement for the love i never got as a kid
the love that I wanted, the love that I deserved

I've been complacent since inslavement as a kid I went to placement
and it's all been the same since, I just rot in my basement
I look for escapement in the dreams that I am chasing
call it lazy call it patient, either way the truth is time is wasting

I've gotta find something better than this
find something that works or at least works half the time
I've gotta find something better than this
find something that works or at least works half the time

maybe the mountain of trash outside my backdoor
is a giant metaphor for my life
ill be rotting summer heat concrete
til the day I finally die
looking for seratonin but settling on dopamine when I can
one of these days things will get better or things will all just end
find a reason find a purpose
make it golden make it perfect
and if you find it hurts it's
just a sign that it's all worth it
and to say if something's worth it
then it's probably just cursed
cause thing's only get worse
til you're lying in a hearse I tell ya

I've gotta find something better than this
find something that works or at least works half the timeI've gotta find something better than this
find something that works or at least works half the time

I've gotta find something that works
I've gotta find something that works

la da da's

credits

from The Greatest Arsonist, released November 14, 2019
everything done by Sky Husebye

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Straight Line Arrival Fargo, North Dakota

Straight Line Arrival is an independent emo-punk band out of Fargo. Started in 2015 as a solo project of Sable Sky, SLA now includes Tim Julio and Michael Hansen.

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